Gone are the days of effortlessly making friends. Who knew when adulthood hit and real responsibilities settled into place, that outside relationships would fall to the wayside so drastically and nonchalantly. I have two close friends that I talk to on nearly a daily basis. More acquaintances that I can confidently count. Some I’d be more interested in building lasting and more meaningful friendships with, but can’t find the time nor the patience to consistently nurture with the required efforts. It’s very likely that they feel the same and I don’t blame them. I often compare building friendships to dating; it requires at least one party to put themselves out there, feel each other out to determine whether personalities jive and take the initiative to plan outings.
Although, sometimes feeling as if I have very little friends – most people admit to having the proverbial “no friends” because they don’t have someone that they can call up on the phone just to chat or vent with. With that known fact, I tend to appreciate the close friends I do have. I’ve consistently blamed it on this small town, people getting into their routines and feeling as though newcomers are transient and unlikely to stay for the long term. I get it, with the effort it takes to build and maintain friendships – people are reluctant to start them. So maybe it is this small, land locked town. Perhaps it’s me – My unwillingness to put myself out there – the same as the rest of them, open people up to my quirks, let go of my self-proclaimed anxiety that perpetuates a sort of reserved disposition.
Those who know me, are fully aware that I’m far from shy and most would say I love to talk. I say; I love to talk. But, in large unfamiliar groups – I can get awkward, nervous and just generally quiet. I tend to overthink pretty much everything I say, over analyze each situation to an absolute fault. No one should care enough about what people think about them to care how they are perceived when being their true genuine self. Life is far too short to make meaningless friendships with people who don’t fully accept you as you are. I want to instill in my daughters the desire to be genuine and not to allow the perception of others to sway them from authenticity. To avoid being a crowd pleaser and to affirm the roll of a leader. Things I wish were imprinted on me as I grew into the adult I am today.
I encourage each of you to take the time to start a new friendship or nurture an existing one. If you don’t feel you have time…make time!